The Courtship: Birthdays and Break ups (Part 3)

After our first phone conversation, we talked on the phone every night, missing maybe only 10 nights in our whole time a part from one another (which ended up being about 9 months).

Shortly after we started “talking” (that messy in-between, getting-to-know-you phase), I had the biggest birthday of my life. My golden birthday. I was turning 26 on June 26. And he showed out.

(Not only did Roger show out, but so did my roomies. They threw me an awesome London themed party for the occasion!)

Even though we were long distance, he did his best to cover the gap. He created a scavenger hunt for me which he implemented through my roommates. Each clue made up an email address log in information. But to get the password, I had to call him. A nice touch, but still weird as I called him in front of my roomies, and felt a little awkward about his cheesy-ness. Don’t get me wrong. I loved it! Just felt a little self-conscious with him and I still being in the awkward pre-relationship stage.

(Oh, ya know…just some birthday selfies from that special day… #26onthe26th)

He filled the email account with 5 simple emails. Each a shipping notification of a gift he had gotten me. One was a gift card to the movies–because he knew how much I like going. The second was pair of Toms ballet flats that he sent me (I wore those things OUT!). Third and fourth were two pairs of earrings I mentioned I liked on Etsy. Fifth and final was a phone headset so I could talk to him on that for our long conversations together (it looked like an old school phone…in my fav color of blue!).

(Oh, that’s what my fav Toms started out looking like!)

He blew my mind!

I loved being spoiled, but I also felt a little weirded out. It felt a little too much, too soon. You know how girls are…fickle.

A doubt was created in my head. Maybe he was “too nice” (as if there’s such a thing). Maybe he wasn’t what I wanted. Plus, I was trying hard core to move to London for a year-long internship. How could he and I have any chance of dating that long distance. We’d both be in so deep by that time that we’d only get hurt. I didn’t want to hurt him. In fact, I knew I couldn’t hurt him. I knew he was a special person. I didn’t think he’d me my special person, but I knew he was special. There was just something about him. And I knew I had to do my best to minimize any pain I might cause him.

Since I couldn’t see how the relationship could end well, I broke up with him. Said I needed my space. That we should just be friends.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And he took it so well. I knew he’d be hurt, but I knew he’d be a lot more hurt if we lasted for nearly a year, and then broke up when I moved to London…or broke up when I decided he and I just wouldn’t work out regardless.

The break up lasted a total of 6 days. And it was a hard six days. Texting him wasn’t the same. It was clear he was hurt. And I hated myself for that. Calling him was short and to the point, and he said he needed his space if we were to just be friends. He just needed time away from talking to me.

The weekend was the worst. I didn’t have the busyness of work to keep my mind occupied. And I woke up that Saturday feeling like we should be together. But I knew that was stupid. I had made up my mind, and needed to stick to it.

We were back together the next day. 🙂

Next post: the trials of long distance